Or because I believe it's the only way you should sleep train, or that I'm against cosleeping, or anything like that.
I'm writing this because I was stuck in an exhausting mess with a newborn who wouldn't sleep for anything, a husband who couldn't come home unless it was an emergency and all my family 873 miles away and I had no idea what to do.
I knew from the beginning that I was going to sleep train Reed. I never considered cosleeping. I didn't want him to form bad sleep habits, but that was the road we were heading down.
Something that I seriously struggled with when Reed was brand new, was the ability to pick up my phone and google whatever I was unsure about.
1,000 opinions from people I don't even know could be accessed in 2.5 seconds.
So I googled "crying it out 10 weeks."
I'm sure you can guess the kind of things I read.
Very mean things about people who choose to let their babies cry it out, one thing I can remember is a doctor wrote that he believes the first time people have suicidal thoughts is when a mother doesn't answer their cry as a baby.
I can guarantee you my little bean has never had a suicidal thought.
But I was crushed for even considering doing that to my baby!
So, I took it as my duty to rock him to sleep for up to an hour, him crying the whole time, for every nap and at bedtime.
Didn't ask God what I should do.
Tried to control the situation completely.
But then the breakdown came.
The one that always comes when you do the 2 things I listed before.
I called Travis balling my eyes out.
I remember saying "I have no idea what to do. But I do know as a wife I submit to you, so TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Help me because I can't do this."
Trav asked me everything I had tried.
I had tried everything.
So Trav told me to lay him in his crib, leave him and go pray.
So I did. With the attitude that this kid will never ever stop crying.
I got in the Word and sobbed asking God to help me and give my family peace.
It wasn't even 15 minutes and there was silence.
I usually rocked him longer than that?!
The most relief and exhaustion I had ever felt in my life other than when I labored to get this little guy out.
I was brushing my teeth and that's when God said to me... "My plan wasn't to let my son, who I love so much, lay in there and cry. I want to give you both rest, but you have to give me all the control."
Probably another one of those "Suuuuurrre God said that Lyd." But He did. And that is how it turned out.
We have never looked back. I stopped researching every little thing and I started praying over every little thing.
Other than the rare moments of sickness, teething and nap transitions Reed has put himself to sleep peacefully ever since.
He has slept 7pm to 7am with a consistent nap schedule since he was 10 weeks old.
Only because I stepped back and let God give my baby rest.
Travis and I both have pretty strict disciplinary ideas. That is not what our relationship with Reed is based on by any means, but we believe it is a huge part of parenting and one of our main responsibilities.
Not because it's easier to have a child obey but because the Word speaks of the importance pretty clearly.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Isaiah 54:13 All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
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| He's totally smiling and laughing here, not crying it out! Hahah |
From my experience reading the Word, when it's presented in what we would think is harsh and is repetitive, that means it's something that is important to Father. And He really wants us to get it!
I'm not saying crying it out was a form of discipline, but with God's guidance, Travis and I will always know what's best for Reed.
And we plan to set the tone that when we tell him to do something, he is going to do it.
And for this situation that means when you lay down in your bed, you are going to go to sleep because we know you are tired and we know you need this.
Also, I'm not against however you get your child to sleep.
More power to you!
I think cosleeping is awesome, I nap with Reed sometimes.
I think nursing babies to sleep is great, it's the best cuddling moments and I would randomly do it for my sake sometimes.
But for our marriage Travis and I had to decide what would work for us.
We are together 15 out of 30 days of the month, and that little bit of alone time when we go to bed is so necessary for our marriage.
And if we are going to have a happy family, we need to have a happy marriage.
This is what worked for our family.
And if you let your 10 week old cry it out, they will BE OK.
You are teaching them a lesson, in the long run they rarely cry once they know how to sleep.
Reed never cries, and if he does because he's tired he stops and goes right to sleep once we get him in an environment where he can sleep, which is basically anywhere.
All this reminiscing is making me want to look like this again!
I can't wait to see what motherhood looks like after you've learned a few valuable lessons for the next time around.
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