a birth story - reed sumner

This experience was nothing close to what I imagined.
To be honest I struggled with being bitter for a little while afterwards. I had my birth plan written out and in my head that was how it was going to happen. Needless to say, it was extremely far from it.
7 months later and I'm finally putting it on paper (in a way.) I kept telling myself I needed to write it down and let it go and I never did, so I am now.

Here it goes...

Reed's due date was August 8, 2012. That day came and went and I had never been so anxious in my life. Travis' work schedule is 2 days on duty, then 2 days off duty. When he's on duty he can't leave the station, he was often underway (on the lake in the boat) and the station is 50 minutes away from our house. The days he was at work were the longest days of my life. Guys, I called him every day he was there and said something like this "Well my stomach is a little tight and I just feel like today could be the day, I'm not in labor and I've had no contractions but, ya know, just stay by your phone." Hahah I don't know how he put up with me but his reaction was always so encouraging.

40 weeks pregnant playing disc golf.

A week after my due date my doctor scheduled me to be induced a week later on August 21, 2012. I was so extremely confident that I would go into labor before then and that there was no way I would be induced, because that's just not how I had it planned in my head. I just believed that I would be part of the .7328057% of women whose labor goes exactly how they imagine. I laugh at that thought now.

The night before being induced. I was huge and Trav looks like a proud papa in his Marley shirt hahahah.

So we walk into Labor and Delivery on August 21, 2012 at 7am. I didn't sleep the night before and I couldn't eat that morning. I was so anxious, nervous and excited. They sent me to my room and I got in the gown, they forced me to put socks on (I really don't like wearing socks but the nurses WOULD NOT leave me alone about it if I didn't have any on hahah) and was hooked to the monitor. Travis and I just talked anxiously, expecting to see our baby in a few hours.

Nurses were in and out checking the monitor charts and at one point a nurse came in looked at the charts, ran to the door and said something to someone outside and before I knew it I had three nurses around me. I was raised up, laid back, given IV's and the whole time no one told me what was going on. I remember asking at least 3 times if everything was ok and had a quick 'It's ok, something about heart rate.' response. I had no idea what they were doing, injecting, or what was happening to my baby. Finally Reed's heart rate jumped back to normal and they slowed down and informed me that his heart rate had dropped and told me not to lay on my left side... Oh. Ok. Thanks for that traumatic experience guys. That was the first time I decided I probably wasn't going to enjoy this experience.

My OB came and checked my cervix and I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, which I had been since 38 weeks (talk about mind games, I thought I was gonna go into labor on my own for sure since I had made some progress by 38 weeks), that wasn't enough to start me on Pitocin so they gave me a dose of Cytotec and told me they would check me in 4 hours.

My parents showed up, 4 hours crept by and at around 3pm they checked me again and I was at 3 cm so they gave me another dose of Cytotec and told me they would check again in 4 hours.

Another 4 hours crept by and I was checked around 7 or 8pm. I was at 5 1/2 cm and had felt no painful contractions yet so I was told now would be a good time to get an epidural because they are going to start the Pitocin. I had wanted to breath through a few contractions before deciding to get the epidural but let me tell you, that was the most vulnerable moment of my life. So, I got the epidural. I had planned on getting one but I was never fully comfortable with the decision.

 

Might as well waved my legs goodbye because they were gone. I had my membranes swept and water broken. We found out there was meconium in the amniotic fluid so I wouldn't get Reed handed straight to my chest and I was upset about that. That's the moment I had been waiting to have for months. Everyone told me to sleep but I couldn't at first. Even though I hadn't been having painful contractions there was something relieving about having the epidural so I got in this really loopy mood and then the next thing I remember is CONTRACTION. I must have been sleeping or something  because it came so fast and sudden and I felt the whole thing and I thought "Crap, my epidural isn't working." and it definitely didn't.

The rest of this story might have a few holes, or maybe not even make much sense, but this is how I remember it.

I'm pretty sure I started transition around midnight and I could feel everything but my legs. I breathed through contractions and tried my best to pray but honestly my prayers were "God, God, God..." no other words. I literally couldn't put a sentence together in my head but I wanted Him to know I was relying on Him in the moment. And between contractions I urgently said "Popsicle,  popsicle!" which Travis and I laugh about now. I ate like 12 popsicles and my mouth was some awful colorful mix of red, orange and purple. But I hadn't eaten since the day before and I felt like if I didn't have something in my stomach I was gonna throw whatever might be in there up.

I really do believe Travis had the harder job. I remember so many times looking at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes I could muster and saying "I can't do this, I want to go home. Please just take me home." and he could do nothing for me but hold up a popsicle for me to lick. I know that had to be so hard for him and I remember glimpses of his face in the moment and I can see it written all over it, but at the time I had no idea.

Finally my OB told me I was ready to push and for a good 15 minutes I felt like I had gotten my second wind and that I was going to do this, I was almost done. I pushed with all the strength I had on my back for one hour, my OB came in and checked and Reed was still at -2 station. She told me Reed's head wasn't fitting in the birth canal because he was coming down at an angle so I could get on my hands and knees and try to get him straightened out or go in for a cesarean.

I chose to try on my hands and knees. I pushed during contractions and basically passed out between them. My OB came and checked again and said Reed was still at -2 and he probably wasn't going to move. I don't really remember the conversation but I do remember saying ok and then getting prepped for surgery while NEEDING to push but they had me flat on my back so I couldn't. I told the nurses I needed to push and they just kept telling me "Then push." They obviously had a lot of confidence that I wasn't going to push this baby out.

I got to the OR and it was cold and bright. Something was making my chest hurt so bad that I had to concentrate on breathing and I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I felt him being pulled out of me and I remember all the sudden realizing Travis was holding our baby, Reed. Our beautiful son was born August 22, 2012 at 4:08am. 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches of blessings.

Travis had prayed for Reed to say "Abba" as soon as he was born. He just wanted him to enter into this world proclaiming Father's name. Honestly I didn't have a lot of faith in it and had completely forgotten about it but the second time I heard my son make a sound he SAID exactly that. I was completely enveloped in myself, trying to breath because the chest pain as so intense but then I heard it. I looked over and Travis looked up at me and he said it again, and then again.  he said Abba 3 times in the first 10 minutes of his life.

And then I felt joy. I went from feeling "Where are you, God?" to "You are in this place."

The grace in that experience, it overflows with grace.

I know not every one is going to believe the last part of this testimony, and some will think we're crazy or weird. But it spoke things to me that I needed to hear.

I also didn't plan for this to be this long but I didn't want to leave out details. Our God is a detailed God and He may speak to someone through the SMALLEST detail in this story. And I pray that He does. Also, this is an experience I hold close to my heart because even though it was so hard and so far from what I had hoped for and imagined, I received one of the most beautiful gifts I will ever receive and I can't wait to go through it for our next gift(s). I really don't remember as much as I would like but I'm happy to put what I do remember here so I can look back on it.

Please don't get me wrong, labor was nothing like I had imagined, planned or wanted but there were no major complications. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or whining about my experience, but I am being honest about how I felt and how it affected me emotionally. I still wish I could have been the first person to hold him, look at his face and drink every detail in, but I wasn't and I have to have faith that God had a purpose in that. But I do have a happy and healthy baby that breastfed like a champ regardless of pain medications and C-section. I am so blessed that I really don't have time to dwell on the difficult 24 hours I spent in comparison to the 7 months of pure joy I have received from my first son.

I do want to encourage women to really educate themselves on natural labor options, not trying to shove an idea in anyone's face because IT IS SCARY making that decision when you have no idea what to expect. But it doesn't hurt to be educated before making the decision. I wanted natural with no medication but I was too afraid. I wish I would have went in it solely relying on my Father's strength, what He made my body to do and educated enough to know what was going on and unafraid to advocate for what I wanted

Next time: home birth ;)

And what would a birth story be without pictures?!

He was so alert the first few hours!

And now I have a chunky, crazy, busy 7 month old!

 

God is soooo so good.