squeezing things and trusting God

I'm gonna take a moment and be 100% honest. When it comes to being nervous about having our first child, I think Travis and I are most afraid of the "squeezing feelings." You know what I'm talking about. When something is so cute and your body is overcome with the NEED to squeeze it as hard as you possibly can. I think I'm the worst. I'll be holding Lex and the next thing I know I'm all like THIS. There's been moments when Travis has to take her away.

Yeah, that's what I'm most afraid of.

But on a more serious note, (not saying the above isn't serious) Travis and I are in the process of looking for a new 2 bedroom house/apartment/townhome to rent. Let me explain this situation. We put a security deposit down on a place but found out our lease in our present apartment is actually 1 month longer. No big deal right? Wrong. No mercy from the new place. There is no way on God's green earth they are gonna wait a month for us. Unless no one else comes, then we get the townhome. As for right now we're stuck with a "We MIGHT have somewhere to live at the end of June."

I wouldn't be as stressed about it if we didn't have a baby on the way. So let's just say I am stressed about it. In my nesting little head I should already have the nursery perfectly ready. That is impossible at this moment and it almost brings me to a little pregnant woman panic everyday.

BUT I can't ignore the lesson God is teaching me through this little situation that I make into a HUGE situation. He knows what is good for me and my family. He wants what is good for me and my family. And He is faithful in that. Saying I trust Him with this and actually trusting Him with this are two completely different things. I'm realizing how much I don't trust Him with certain things in my life and that is something He REALLY needed to reveal. Although I can't say I'm not worried at all, I can say I'm learning to rely on God and less on myself through all of this. I can't thank Him enough for trials that, in the end, bring me closer to Him.

Oh and by the way tomorrow morning Reed and I will be showered with hugs, kisses and probably some sweet talking. I can't tell you how much I can't wait.

CANNOT. WAIT.